What Do You Mean, You Can't Eat in My Home?: A Guide to How Newly Observant Jews and Their Less Observant Relatives Can Still Get Along

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About What Do You Mean, You Can't Eat In My Home?: A

Product Description Here is a book of workable, sensible solutions to the everyday problems faced by newly observant Jews as they try to explain the parameters of their new lives to the people who love them—but think they’ve gone around the bend. For the formerly nonobservant Jew who has decided to live an observant life, the most daunting task can be dealing with less-observant loved ones. How can you explain to them what you now feel and believe? How can you continue to be part of the lives of your parents, your siblings and their families, and your in-laws, given how differently you now live your life? In this book, Azriela Jaffe—the observant daughter of less-observant parents—answers these and other pressing questions. Jaffe discusses how to eat kosher and observe the Sabbath and Jewish holidays in the home of a non-observant relative, and how to host nonobservant relatives in your own home; how to explain the laws of modesty and courtship practices; how to attend family life-cycle events—or explain why you sometimes can’t; and how to help your relatives understand the decision to put secular education temporarily aside to attend yeshivah and further your knowledge of Jewish law, rituals, and customs. Eminently insightful, helpful, and readable, What Do You Mean, You Can’t Eat in My Home? will be an invaluable tool in the lives of an ever-increasing number of Jewish families. From Publishers Weekly The subtitle says it all. Jaffe, a ba'alat teshuvah (a Jew who was raised in a secular, nonobservant home and who as an adult chose to live a "Torah observant life") urges families who have diverged in their religious orientations to overcome conflict and preserve shalom bayis, peace in the home. Jaffe tackles the philosophical and practical aspects of keeping kosher, with the understanding that "anything that threatens a family's ability to eat together is seen as tearing apart the fabric of family life." Shabbat and holiday observances raise thorny debates—some seemingly small—that can add up to a broader contentiousness ("I'd like to watch the 10 o'clock news before I go to bed. Do I have to avoid doing so in your home just because you don't watch TV on the Sabbath?"). Other questions include modesty, women's roles, dating practices, participation in life cycle events and education. Through general scenarios, personal reflections, suggestions for defusing tensions, and real answers to real questions, Jaffe encourages readers to treat each other with courage and respect in a way that "strengthens the family rather than destroys it." (Sept.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. From Booklist Orthodoxy. It's like a different religion. Well, it may seem so to Reform, Reconstructionist, and even Conservative Jews who can be hurt and confused when they discover that a newly orthodox daughter, brother, or even a parent now won't attend a family celebration, talk to them on the phone on Saturday, or come along on the annual family vacation. Addressing non- or less-observant Jews, Jaffe, who chose orthodoxy in her thirties, provides insight into the spiritual roots of a variety of Orthodox practices, including dietary laws, dating and marriage customs, and Shabbos requirements, and offers useful suggestions to help family members understand one another and work through new things together. Jaffe's own experiences provide a real-life template for her readable, realistic guide that, while acknowledging that some conflicts simply can't be resolved, will enable families to face many situations with equanimity and optimism. Stephanie Zvirin Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved Review “The subtitle says it all. . . . Through general scenarios, personal reflections, suggestions for defusing tensions, and real answers to real questions, Jaffe encourages readers to treat each other with courage and respect in a way that strengthens the family ra