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The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
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About The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free Of Exploitive
Product Description Some really great books just keep getting better! For seventeen years The Betrayal Bond has been the primary source for therapists and patients wrestling the effects of emotional pain and harm caused by exploitation from someone they trusted. Divorce, litigation, incest and child abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. These are situations and relationships of incredible intensity or importance lend themselves more easily to an exploitation of trust or power. In The Betrayal Bond, Dr. Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships; why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. Dr. Carnes also gives a clear explanation of the bond that compels people to tolerate the intolerable, and for the first time, maps out the brain connection that makes being with hurtful people comparable to 'a drug of choice.' Most importantly, Carnes provides practical steps to identify compulsive attachment patterns and ultimately to change or end them for good. This new edition includes: New science for understanding how our brains can make a prison of bad relationships New assessments and insights based on 50,000 research participants A new section utilizing the latest findings in attachment research and narrative therapy to concretely rewrite and rescript bad experiences A redefinition of the factors contributing to addictive relationships About the Author Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., is an internationally known authority on addiction and recovery issues. He has authored more than twenty books including the bestselling titles Out of the Shadows: Understanding Addiction Recovery, Don't Call It Love, and A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps. Dr. Carnes' research provides the architecture for the 'task model' of treating addictions that is used by thousands of therapists worldwide and many well-known treatment centers, residential facilities, and hospitals. He is the executive director of the Gentle Path Program, which specializes in dedicated treatment for sexual addiction. Visit Dr. Carnes at www.patrickcarnes.com. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. What Trauma Does to People After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment. ―Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery A key skill to navigating life's inevitable stressors and challenges is our brains' ability to maintain flexibility and make choices on how to respond when faced with a threat or a challenge. This capacity involves primarily the prefrontal area of the brain and emerges slowly during the course of development. Those who have experienced trauma may find that they blow up in response to minor provocations, freeze when frustrated, or become helpless in the face of trivial challenges. This inflexibility diminishes the capacity to choose, and without understanding the context of the reactions, their behavior can appear bizarre or out of control. "Neuroimaging technology has revealed that when people are reminded of a personal trauma they activate the areas of the brain regions that support intense emotions while decreasing activity of brain structures involved in the inhibition of emotions and the translation of experience into communicable language" (van der Kolk, 2006 p. 2). Simply it becomes difficult to choose an appropriate behavioral response in the face of intense emotions. Due to the reality that most traumas occur within the context of interpersonal relationships the problem becomes even more complex. One significant factor in the development of the prefrontal areas of the brain and the ability to respond to emotions effectively occurs as a child is able to develop in the presence of familiar and trusted people in his or her life. These significant relationships are critical to development and later to the ability to emot
