Mom, Are We There Yet?

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Mom, Are We There Features

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About Mom, Are We There

Review "Kind of a 90's version of Erma Bombeck, she writes about the joys and foibles of parenthood, work..." -- Fort Worth Weekly, Sept. 16-23, 1999 "Monica Anderson has a refreshing way of capturing the ironic twists of everyday family life with a big dose of humor." -- Ramona Logan, News Anchor, NBC 5/KXAS-TV Dallas-Fort Worth "Suffice it to say, Monica Anderson has a way with words like few others." -- Tom Vandergriff, County Judge of Tarrant County Product Description "Mom, Are We There Yet?" is a heartwarming collection of family humor vignettes from Fort Worth Star-Telegram columnist, Monica Anderson. Anderson's topics and writing style are reminiscent of the great humorist, Erma Bombeck. Readers will laugh, cry and readily identify with these slices of family life. About the Author Monica F. Anderson is a wife, mother, Doctor of Dental Surgery, author and columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. She is also the host of "Perpetual Moe-tion", an AT&T cable program. She has been writing her popular, weekly column for the Star-Telegram since 1996. She also practices dentistry full-time at her private practice in Arlington, Texas. When she's not pursuing her professional passions, she delights in spending time with her husband and two sons. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. "Dinner Guest" Four steaks. Nice cuts. Seasoned, sizzling ribeyes. Four plates. Everyday ware. Two are slightly chipped but that's OK. Four forks and four knives. Four glasses filled with ice and Hi-C. One question. "Mom, can Petey stay for dinner?" Petey. Where did Petey come from? I didn't hear the doorbell. How long has he been here? Why hasn't Petey eaten already? It's 8 PM for goodness sakes. If I hadn't worked late, we would have eaten at 7:45, after my nap. Of course, I keep these thoughts in my mind and say what any good mother would say. "Is Petey hungry? I ask, hoping that he's already filled his little tummy with pop and candy. I'm not against sharing the wealth but I only have FOUR steaks for my family of FOUR. If we were having spaghetti or hot dogs, no problem. But steak night is rare and sacred. I am not giving up my steak, not even for sweet little Petey. My son checks the status of Petey's appetite and tells me, "He says he's starving, Mom. He hasn't eaten since lunch at school today." Oh good grief. He's starving! Why does he have to be starving? If he was just hungry, I could make him a bologna sandwich and send him home to dinner but no, he's starving! Here's my chance to help with world hunger and it has to happen on steak night. I try another tactic. "Tell him to call home and check with his Mom. She's probably wondering where he is this late on a school night," I suggest. I'll even give him a ride home because it's dark outside. That's a nice gesture, right? By now, everyone, both my sons and Petey, is in the kitchen with me. Petey says, "My parents had to go to a meeting. No one is home but my sister. Do you want me to call her?" No, she might be hungry too, I think to myself. "That's all right," I tell him. " You guys go wash your hands while I set another place at the table. Four steaks, each cut in half, makes a platter of meat. We pass the platter around the table. My husband takes one of the pieces and each of my sons take one semicircle of beef. I am so proud of them. Petey just looks for a long time and then he takes the smallest piece. "Petey, I thought you were starving," I say. "Don't you want another piece of meat? You can have two." My boys, who count slices of pizza like they're $20 bills, stare at me incredulously. I look back at them with an expression that says, he's your starving friend, I'm just trying to be nice. Petey declines my offer so everyone else immediately takes another slice, leaving one lonely peice for my dining pleasure. Petey smiles at me, his braces glistening with Hi-C. After dinner, I pardon the boys from their dishwashing duties and