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The Goldblum Variations: Adventures of Jeff Goldblum Across the Known (and Unknown) Universe
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About The Goldblum Variations: Adventures Of Jeff
Product Description “Fantastic!” —the actual Jeff Goldblum (for real)The essential companion for any fan of Jeff Goldblum, Hollywood’s most beloved and otherworldly icon. You like Jeff Goldblum. We like Jeff Goldblum. Helen McClory really likes Jeff Goldblum. So lie back, Jurassic Park-style, and prepare to enjoy The Goldblum Variations, a collection of stories, musings, puzzles, and games based on the one and only Jeff Goldblum as he (and alternate versions of himself) travels through the known (and unknown) universe in a mighty celebration of weird and wonderful Goldbluminess. Maybe he’s cresting the steep bluffs of a mysterious planet on an epic treasure hunt, maybe he’s wearing a nice sweater, maybe he’s reading from this very book. The possibilities are endless. Treat yourself . . . because all that glitters is Goldblum. Review “Attention Jeff Goldblum stans (i.e. everyone with a pulse) . . . Christmas gifts are now sorted.” —Literary Hub “Metatexually dazzling yet absurdly soothing, Helen McClory’s The Goldblum Variations will put a dent in your bad vibes. . . . It is not hyperbole to say that [this] is the best book I have read this year. . . . McClory has crafted a very fine, lushly sensitive, gently moving series of portraits of a cultural icon . . . a crushingly excellent display of metatextual prowess that also manages to be uplifting and fun. The Goldblum Variations is the sweetest kind of adventure. McClory’s quick read delivers the real thing—even though the thing is totally made up and silly.” —PopMatters About the Author Helen McClory is a writer from Scotland. She has an undergraduate MA in English and Classical Studies from the University of St. Andrews, an MA in Creative Writing from the University of New South Wales, and a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. She has lived in Sydney, Australia and New York City and currently resides in Edinburgh. While in NYC, she worked as a dog walker and had the distinction of walking Lou Reed's dog. Most recently, she volunteered on a horse farm in central Portugal, despite finding horses slightly alarming. Her other interests include cooking and absurdism. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. A Variety of Jeff GoldblumsThe Jeff Goldblum that lathes and sands down a pine table, brushing the grain with the heel of his hand, bends down and takes a spirit level to it, saying gently to the wood, well done, you. The Jeff Goldblum that wakes up in the morning, opens the curtains and says, softly, "Oh!" The Jeff Goldblum that, in an excitable mood, makes his maid an origami peacock and leaves it on the top of the fridge (where she, being short, cannot reach it without his helpful boost). The Jeff Goldblum that has never forgotten your birthday, having chanced upon it in the Wikipedia article about you, which he has started to contribute to, although he doesn't really know anything about you at all, and, while his contributions are always peevishly removed by moderators, he is only writing kind and harmless things, like saying your favorite color is pink, when, citation needed, it might not be so, though it might be, because he, Jeff Goldblum, has surmised a favorability toward pinkness in you, stranger. The Jeff Goldblum that lets tears flow when he deadheads his roses in winter. The Jeff Goldblum that is reading these stories with his chin in his hands. The Jeff Goldblum that is reading these stories with his head in his hands. The Jeff Goldblum that stands in mirth in a frosty walled garden with an armful of ranunculus he has just set alight. The Jeff Goldblum that lies awake at night contemplating the creator/the existence of the creator, debating out loud on top of his blankets in a lengthy diatribe, or coming to conclusions rapidly, and without a frisson of despair in the least. The Jeff Goldblum that is a sometimes murderous, sometimes mundane figment in the dream of a woman with aching ankles in Kirkintilloch.
