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The Neurotic Parent's Guide to College Admissions: Strategies for Helicoptering, Hot-housing & Micromanaging
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About The Neurotic Parent's Guide To College
Product Description Admissions rates of 6 percent? Kids applying to thirty-two colleges? Sixteen-year-olds with more impressive resumes than Fortune 500 CEOs? Has the nation lost its mind? Why yes, it has! J.D. Rothman, the Neurotic Parent of blog fame, takes readers on a hilarious satiric journey through today’s insane college admissions process. The vividly illustrated book takes you from the Itsy-Bitsy Fiske Guide and Junior Kumon Tips for Preschoolers through Rejection Letters from the Heart and Bed Bath & Bye-Bye. Review "Laugh-out-loud funny... this book is going to be a huge success!" -- Teen Vogue "It's hilarious!" -- Madeleine Brand, KPCC/NPR Witty insight into the admissions process....Smartly satirical, providing hilarious solutions to real problems....Filled with various charts and diagrams that will get your children into Harvard (after deferment, of course). Altogether..a smart, wry look at the process. -- St. Louis Magazine "Made us laugh out loud... Rothman is an acute observer of the road to the fat envelope." -- Admission Now "Playful... quirky... belly-busting... full of funny statistics and oddities." -- National Association of College Admissions Counselors About the Author J.D. Rothman: J.D. (Judy) Rothman is an Emmy-winning screenwriter and lyricist specializing in comedy and children's programming. She coped with the stress of her son's college-application process by becoming the blogger The Neurotic Parent, which later inspired the book. She also contributed to I'm Going to College, Not You (St. Martin's). Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Orientation to College Angst Back in the day, before the existence of the expression "back in the day, you took the SAT once. When you got a 1260, your relatives thought you were a genius. That was when the most difficult high school class was trig, a "B meant "good, and the initials AP stood for Associated Press. Your main extracurricular was sitting with a sun reflector on the beach. You filled out applications for three colleges and didn't bother to visit any. Even if you were lucky enough to know your guidance counselor, it never would have occurred to you to ask her to proofread your application, which you sent in by registered mail. You can barely remember why you selected the college where you ended up, but it probably had something to do with where your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend was or wasn't attending. Then, when it was time to leave, your parents dropped you off at a train station with a duffel bag, and that began your college career. At the Neurotic Parent Institute, we have followed the trends carefully. We can say definitively that everything has changed. Today's kids need to begin prepping for college by age 2, when they get admitted to a selective Mommy and Me group, which leads to the right preschool. Then, starting at age 5, they need tutors, coaches, and homework helpers. In their spare time after that, they must choose 20-hour-a-week activities that will become their passions by middle school. If they're actually having fun rather than excelling, there's something wrong. This guidebook presents our findings about today's college process. It will prepare you for the fourteen standardized exams, 39 essays and 27 supplements that your sons or daughters will tackle-and all the money you will spend making sure they're on target. If you're reading this when your child is a junior or senior in high school, we're sorry to let you know that you have started agonizing way too late, and we suggest you supplement this experience with a strong cocktail or an Ativan. We will also present popular blog entries by the Neurotic Parent, which follow the journey of her older son, Cerebral Jock (CJ), during the period when he was ultimately accepted early decision to a top-ten school. This anxious blogger is now in the middle of overseeing the application process of her younger son, Good Conversationalist
